The Pitiful Me Does Not Need a Dazzling Life – Chapter 4

Looking at myself in the mirror, I fixed my hair a little and almost laughed at myself. I turned around and hoped that trouble wouldn’t be waiting for me outside the door.

I pushed the door open and Zhi Mo stood a little distance away, squatting and holding her skirt against the wall. Maybe the female stalls are full?

In order to avoid unnecessary embarrassment, I looked away from where she was sitting and pretended to know nothing. Yep, we know nothing. I may be a bit self-conscious, but its nothing to be embarrassed about.

“Hey you…”

After I avoided and ignored Zhi Mo, there was a clear voice behind me. I didn’t look back.

“Hey…”

The sound behind him obviously increased in volume and he couldn’t help but stop. He leaned over and looked at Zhi Mo. She seemed a little anxious and kept pinching her skirt. I looked her in the eyes then looked around us. With no people around, and by herself, is Zhi Mo talking to me? Just in case, lets confirm.

“You mean me?” I pointed at myself.

“Yeah.” Her anxious look seemed calmer.

“Is there something you need?”

I hate this subtle feeling. The scene that is almost close to being alone is always awkward. Your heartbeat speeds up accidentally, and it may even be misunderstanding something that doesn’t exist, or get you into trouble.

Zhi Mo still pinched the skirt in her left hand while her right played with her long hair a little. Her cheeks had a slight blush while a soft voice responded.

“Thank you.”

If you are too embarrassed to say it, then don’t bother trying to say it while coming to thank me. It is naïve to say that she is innocent. I have to thank you for making me me recall the sequence of prime numbers.

“I didn’t do anything. Tell your thanks to Xu Hang.”

Of course, I know that she was sure to thank the weather channel in the classroom. I just don’t want to focus on us since the awkward feeling will only last longer. Seeing Zhi Mo’s words and feelings, I’m getting a little impatient. Don’t waste my time.

“I will leave if you have nothing to-”

“No. Hey? I haven’t finished yet.” She quickly said since I turned around to leave.

“I’m not interested.”

“Why?”

I turned back while Zhi Mo looked at me with amazement and kept pinching her skirt.

No, I said that after being rejected so thoroughly, I won’t ask any more later…Hey stop being so troublesome and beating around the bush. Just be direct. I honestly can’t stand you.

“Because he is more embarrassed.”

Xu Hang came out from behind me and interrupted what I was about to say.

“What did you say? I just don’t want to…”

“Well I promised someone in the classroom, leave me some face.”

“You have a thick face and no shame.” I glared at Xu Hang with a cold stare. “Why do you want to ask someone else to pull me into these muddy waters?”

 “I’m not that shameless, I promised to go down. Look, this doesn’t happen often so don’t mind it alright?” Xu Hang smiled calmly.

Obviously, it is perfunctory to me…Hey blame yourself for being unlucky, on a thief boat, or a thief (1).

After the compromise, Zhi Mo immediately returned back to normal, his face changed abruptly and the awkward smile gradually brightened. Walking back together while explaining various things to the peanut gallery in the vicinity, we turned back and said that we were laughing. To be exact, I was talking and laughing with Xu Hang. I normally kept silent. When did you say that our relationship became so good? This is to not stand out in our group of three.

Zhi Mo looked very good when she smiled. It was a very charming and pure smile, but nothing more.

There are many kinds of meanings of laughter and it Is not clear which kind hers belongs to. Oh, is it that some people have said that laughing is the most complicated expression of a person? I think so too as I am nowhere near as benevolent, I will not easily believe such a beautiful surface. I am used to speculating on other people’s behavior, being wary of others in case I become deeply involved, as I have experienced plenty in an indifferent home. I don’t like to get along with others.

“You are saying something.” Xu Hang touched me with his arm.

“Oh…what did I say?” He broke me out of my thoughts.

“Zhi Mo asked ‘what are you doing during summer vacation?’”

I looked her right in the eyes. “Not being at school?”

“Let’s talk about it and discuss it then.” Xu Hang grinned.

I feel that he is doing this deliberately. Well, I have nothing to do with it anyway. I really don’t care. “Eat drink, Lazar (2) and playing on the computer.”

“Hey, he has always been a little boring so don’t worry about it.” Xu Hang shook his head and said to Zhi Mo.

Then don’t ask if you knew the answer!

“No, everyone has something to do, you don’t need to say yes, Zichen.” Zhi Mo’s smile is really warm.

I frowned slightly, staring at Zhi Mo without saying a word. Zhi Mo seems scared by my sudden cold eyes. Panicking a little, she subconsciously grabbed her skirt.

“You have been staring at people to see what you want to do?” Xu Hang looked at me with a smirk.

“First name.”

I have not told her my first name. It must have been Xu Hang accidentally or intentionally telling her. Being friends is based on using the first or last name. I didn’t intend on becoming friends with her, so I did not introduce myself. But now it seems that she is ready to be friends with me or has already regarded me as a friend. This makes me very unhappy. I am not a person who wants to sing the song of youth. I am just a salted fish who likes to live at home (3).

“Ah sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Zhi Mo. I also said my name right before the speech…” Zhi Mo showed me a sorry smile and a little dissatisfaction.

I didn’t understand what she meant at all…Well, I didn’t expect her to understand at the beginning. She was also a freshman and the gap was big.

“Almost finished the tour.” I have no interest in her self-introduction. Compared to these, I am already sleepy.

“Ok.”

After receiving an affirmative answer, he nodded slightly to understand, turned around to leave, and took the shortest route to the school gate. I faintly heard Xu Hang and Zhi Mo saying a few words. It might be a bit of gossip and soon enough, Xu Hang is following behind.

“You are too cold.” Xu Hang shook his head helplessly.

“Leave me alone.”

“What are you going to do now, go home and sleep?”

“No?”

“So, have you forgotten something?” Xu Hang smiled meaningfully.

What can I do? I really hope I am not getting early dementia, forgetting things this early in life. Suddenly, the image of a two-wheeled travelling tool emerges in my head.

“I haven’t forgotten. Go home and sleep, then go to your house and take my bike back.” I almost forgot…

“Can you call it by the way?”

“I was just saying, I don’t care about the details.”

Xu Hang didn’t ask any more questions. He was barely fooled earlier…better not push my luck here.

After getting a bicycle at Xu Hang’s house, I personally took a few steps and felt happy when I stepped on the cold pedals outside.

Oh, I remembered that there are no more snacks at home. Let’s go get some snacks. I remember that there is a park nearby. There is a small supermarket there…that one is the closest.

Stopping the bicycle in front of the park’s side door, a green scene greets you. Slowly walking on the cobblestone path, it should be very quiet and peaceful, but squatting down on the lawn next to the path, was a squinting and sobbing little girl who completely ruined the nice atmosphere.

(1) Something along the lines of caught up in the situation.

(2) I really don’t know what “Lazar” is. Some simple googling seems to link it with various things like hockey or youtubers. A lot of mixed answers here e.e treat it as “Something” lol.

(3) Read as NEET or semi-hikkimori.

 

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2 thoughts on “The Pitiful Me Does Not Need a Dazzling Life – Chapter 4

  1. Pingback: The Pitiful Me Does Not Need a Dazzling Life – Chapter 4 | FishyTranslation

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